Dear Little Bean,
It's been 10 weeks and 3 days, and already you have changed us irrevocably.
So tiny, and you've given your daddy a new impetus to chase his calling. You've brought a new playfulness to him and a tenderness that undoes me sometimes, when he pats my tummy so gently and with the tiniest of hesitation, not wanting to jar you or hurt you.
You've alternately brought me joy and anxiety, as I obsess about your growth, and alternately fear I've lost you without knowing it. At the same time, I feel more settled, with less of an inclination to sweat the small stuff in the world beyond my uterus. I've lost interest in some of the things that used to sustain me, and I've been really motivated creatively lately. Your dad and I joked about me writing a pregnancy book for dads; I've already started working on it.
Together, we've always been good at talking to each other, bouncing ideas off each other, and supporting each other. Lately, it's just gotten better. I didn't think that was possible. I've been rediscovering how cool the man I married is, and how even cooler he's grown over the past 10 years.
Your big sisters are more aware of me as a person outside their own worlds, albeit some days more than others. They are looking forward to meeting you, and both have expressed the idea that they need to start setting better examples.
The dogs don't seem to care much one way or the other. Sorry, but that's how it goes sometimes.
I'm feeling better every day, and can't wait to take you for walks with the doggies again. It's autumn in Georgia, which means lots of rain, but I bet we find a sunny day or two. They seem to be right on the horizon.
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