The Gory Details - Home
Despondent from the failure to make progress on Thursday night, I slept pretty deeply and awoke Friday mornng at around 11. Heavenly. I was experiencing mild cramping and a menstrual-like discharge, but chalked it up to the membrane stripping from the day previous - nothing about which to get excited. Much to my delighted surprise, Ivan chose to stay home with me (when asked later, he said he had a "feeling"). So I made him take me to IHOP.
I kid you not - we left IHOP at 1 PM and I started feeling very gassy (ha!). Undeterred, we went shopping. I needed nightgowns (forgetting why hospitals want you to bring gowns, I bought two sets of PJs - oops). Stein Mart failed us; Ross did not. From there it was off to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for a diaper pail (the one I'd ordered from Amazon was too small for a day's worth of cloth diapers and wipes). By this time I was feeling a bit more than gassy; I was having irregular contractions. I refused to hope, though. It was about 4 PM.
Headed home and by 6 PM, I knew the gas pains were not from IHOP's corned beef hash omelet (yes, I am one of the last women alive to cherish this concoction). At around 7 PM I had Ivan start timing them; they were never regular - between five and 10 minutes apart - but they started ramping up. And I never stopped bleeding. An hour later, with some concern, I called our after hours number, and Dr. Smith said it was time to come in. Savannah held down the fort at home until Kate could return from an outing with a friend, and would meet us at the hospital as soon as possible. Ivan loaded up our bags.
Gory Details - Hospital
(or, Why I Now Love Epidurals)
Contractions in a moving vehicle are never fun, and thankfully the trip to our hospital is short. We checked in at around 8:30 PM. By this time I had some major concerns - my contractions were not regular, they were often back-to-back so I didn't even get a chance to relax my muscles in between, and they were getting really intense. My labor nurse (also known as Nora Tweedy, Best Labor Nurse Ever™) advised me that if I wanted an epidural, we better decide now, because a.) this baby was coming quickly and b.) the anesthesiologist was not.
I rocked through to 6 cm on my birth ball and decided to order the epidural, figuring I could change my mind if need be when the anesthesiologist arrived.
Two hours later... I was losing my mind. I was having a very hard time breathing through the contractions, because they had no rhyme or rhythm and were still back-to-back every so often. Nora made me get off my birthing ball and onto the hospital bed preparatory to the anesthesiologist arriving (which he didn't, for TWO F'IN HOURS) so I wasn't able to rock him down or ease the pain in my hips and abdomen. I was in bad shape.
By the time the anesthesiologist arrived, I was ready for relief - my fear was that I'd be so worn out from the contractions that I wouldn't be able to push effectively, and my son would be stuck in the birth canal. I have no idea why this terrified me so much but it did. I could not release the fear and breathe effectively; I could not release the pain and relax my muscles in between contractions; I could not regain control of my labor. I bowed my head, bent my back, and received the spinal catheter.
Later, when Nora and I were discussing my labor, I realized I may have been in or near transition; she said I was likely already at 8 cm by the time the anesthesiologist arrived. I may have been able to labor straight through, medication-free to delivery. I will never know.
I don't regret it in the slightest.
The epidural took effect and it was the most amazing thing in the world. It was now 11 PM.
The girls were able to visit me and I was coherent, calm, and enjoying their presence. We had some wonderful talks while we waited for the doctor or Nora to come check on me, and they stayed with us the whole time. I didn't scare Ivan with agonized moans and make him regret putting me through this. Kate watched the contractions on the monitor with awe.
Yeah... see how fun they were when they were back to back? SO glad that, at that point, I couldn't feel anything.
So yes, the epidural was a wonderful experience, even though I couldn't tell when my body started signaling that it was time to push.
Fortunately, Nora came back at 11:45 and had me do a test push... then she said "Ooookay, stop... I need to go get the doctor." Dr. Smith suited up and we waited for a contraction. And waited. And waited. Finally, Nora asked if I felt I could push without it, and the next time I felt the baby trying to move down, I pushed.
With three pushes, I birthed my son.
I wish I could have taken a picture of the girls' faces when they saw him... they were so overjoyed and overwhelmed and loved him from the very moment of his birth. This one will have to do:
And... there is this:
No more words needed.
Day Two and Beyond - Loss of Bliss, Recovery
What a lovely morning:
With my menfolk sleeping as the sunlight streams in.
Sadly, the news over the rest of our stay was not as great. Baby Ivan was sleeping too much and lost almost a pound over the next two days. He wouldn't nurse properly and we had a few tense and teary moments with lactation consultants, pediatricians, and staff nurses. The on-call pediatrician demanded we keep him in hospital an additional day, even though I was due to be discharged Sunday morning. Fortunately, the nursing staff and head nurse at Eastside were awesome and let us stay in his room - if you pray or send out warm thoughts to the universe, please think kindly of Barbara, Monique, Umi, and Debbie. Also Heather and Laurie who did their best to help me nurse.
Finally, Monday morning (afternoon) we were released, although Baby Ivan's bilirubin count was still high and he was still sleeping too much - we promised to have his blood drawn again as an outpatient on Tuesday and to see the pediatrician that same day. And we did.
Dr Wilson Is A Superhero In Disguise
There are some people in the world who are exactly where they need to be, and Dr. Wilson is one of them. She is a lovely, warm, awesome person, who told us that babies have 'gangster farts' and did her best to convince me that formula supplementation is not the end of the world. She carries a REAL LIVE DOCTOR'S BAG and refers to the Lechenazis with scathing scorn. She gave me a plan for pumping and supplementation with which I could work, gave us the science behind why our son was not thriving, and encouraged us to move beyond it to recovery. She also reassured me that I could nurse naturally (without aids) and told me she couldn't see any reason why we couldn't move beyond the scary numbers and yellow skin.
More kind thoughts out to the universe for Beverly Raymond, who recommended Dr. Wilson to us.
Baby Ivan regained the pound he lost, and is now thriving. This is at five days old:
Under Dr. Wilson's care, I am confident that we will do just fine at home. He is nursing now and while he still has some issues, we are making progress daily.
We are so suffused with love that we can happily and easily sit for hours just watching him sleep. He is awake more often now, and loves looking around... even though we're not terribly sure we know what he is looking at, his eyes are so bright and his gaze so inquisitive that he looks highly intelligent. Hey, don't spoil it for the fatuous new parents - so what if he can't focus?
As I tell Ivan nearly every day, this was his best idea ever.
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